Amiga Games: Greatest Hits 1996

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CanDo Variables/Data | 1994-10-23 | 92KB | 3,901 lines

glCDVRANNO CanDoVar Ver1 STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE SOUNDINTERVAL SOUND ALTDESCRIPTION DESCRIPTION You are outside the huge home of Elvis. There is a door here in the back of the house. Elvis watches from your breast pocket, waiting patiently for you to take him home. Graceland, Memphis Tenn. ALTPIC FILLED ACTIONLIST COUNT Ask about COUNT Put on COUNT COUNT Talk to COUNT COUNT Enter No Action COUNT Examine COUNT COUNT COUNT COUNT COUNT COUNT COUNT Close COUNT Search COUNT Smash COUNT Sit on COUNT STYLE scifi PASSWORD 47726163656C616E64 START GAMETITLE ,I RESCUED ELVIS FROM COMMUNIST ALIEN JERKS!! STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE DESCRIPTION b Dazed and a wee-bit confused, you stumble blindly into the local saloon in your home town of Redneck, Alabama. Your best buddy, Billy-Bob Cornshucker, plops down next to you and buys you an ice cold "Lucky Lager" and asks, "Where the heck ya been boy?" You sigh, take a long tug on your beer, and proceed to tell the story of your grand adventure. "Well Billy-Bob", you say, "You just aint gonna believe this but.............. "I RESCUED ELVIS FROM COMMUNIST ALIEN JERKS!" (By Robert Sedler) The scene begins to fade (a flashback, dummy) and our story begins in a local cornfield.... STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE DESCRIPTION -We return to the present, a saloon in your home town. ".............and so you see Billy Bob, thats my story. I hitch-hiked from Memphis back to here, caught a ride with a cross country trucker who thinks I'm nuts now, and here I am! I called The National Embarraser from a truck stop near Tuscaloosa and they said they'd pay me 50 dollars for my story! Thats what my truck the Aliens took cost, so I figger I'll break even. Well, whatta ya think Billy Bob?" You turn towards your friend and find him with his head on the bar, sound asleep. "Oh well", you say and turn to the bar- tender,"Hey Barkeep, hows about another ice cold Lucky Lager?" THE END There now, wasn't that a nice ending? Yeah, you too! STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE DESCRIPTION <Hey! You're pretty good at this game........ ......Uh, no, I guess you're not. If you were good at it you wouldn't be......... ******* DEAD! ******* Wow, you won't believe this, but you just hit the ONLY death in this whole game! It's a good thing you saved your game not too long ago..............you hope. STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC EVENT SOUND ?It really does look like that star is getting closer, honestly. FILLED Corn Field DESCRIPTION You are standing in one of the many corn- fields of your home town of Redneck. It is around midnight. Next to you is your closest companion in the whole world, your pickup truck. The sky tonight is clear and many stars can be seen. One star seems to be getting closer and closer. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND cricket.snd SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED ACTION POINTS OBJECT NOTOBJECT NOPASS 1Be carefull! You're gonna cut yourself on that!!! CHey, there's a whole 'nother room on the other side of the mirror! SOUND magic.snd KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Prison Cell DESCRIPTION /You are in some kind of strange prison cell aboard the Alien craft. You can hear the hum of the ships engines. Your cell is empty except for a very nasty looking old cot. There does not appear to be any exits from the room. On the north wall there is a large mirror. On the south wall is a large sign. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Examination Room DESCRIPTION zIn the center of this large well lit room is a rather large table. It is covered with a red sticky substance that looks a whole lot like blood (it probably is). On the south wall there is, or should I say WAS a large window which some Ya-hoo with the IQ of a fig newton went and smashed. There are doors to the east and west. Oh, there is also a dead alien lying on the floor. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC FILLED BLOCK CLOSED KEYED BLOCK CLOSED KEYED BLOCK CLOSED KEYED BLOCK CLOSED KEYED BLOCK CLOSED KEYED BLOCK CLOSED KEYED Turbo Lift - Main Level DESCRIPTION KYou are standing in the Turbo Lift of the ship. The only exit is a door to the north. There are two buttons on the shiny panel next to the door. One has an arrow pointing up, the other points down. After staring at them for the better part of an afternoon, it dawns on you what these buttons are for. Pretty High-Tech, eh farm boy? ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK ACTION POINTS OBJECT NOTOBJECT NOPASS yThe door is Locked! You can't get in! Go find the key! And you'll be within! (I am a fantastic poet -Daily Affirmation-) RYou use the key in the door. Nothing happens! Oh, allright, the door opens. Baby. SOUND KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Central Hall DESCRIPTION /This is the Central Hall of the Sphinctoid empire Flagship. There are four doors leading off from this room; North, South, East and West. From the North door you hear the sound of Stereotypical Sci/Fi Sound Effects. You know, beeps pings and the occasional buzz. The door to the south has a sign on it. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Rear of Bridge DESCRIPTION EThis is the rear half of the bridge of the Great Sphinctoid Empire Flagship. The room is quite large, with many stations located around it's perimeter. To the north is the forward half of the Bridge. To the south is the only other exit. The room is lit with the eerie glow of the instrument panels of the various stations. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED Front of Bridge DESCRIPTION ,This is the front half of the massive bridge of the Sphinctoid vessel. To the south is the rear half of the bridge. There is a Science station here and the Captains Chair. Also on the north wall is a large screen displaying a starfield. The only thing missing are any crew members. Where is everyone? ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED Computer Room DESCRIPTION You now stand in the presence of the great and powerful computer-Brain-center of the Great sphinctoid flagship. The walls of the room are lined with great computer banks and on a table on the east wall is a computer screen. There are exits to the west and north. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC FILLED SOUND =The door slides open in an air of smugness and lets you pass. NOPASS |A voice screams out from a tiny metal grate: "You don't have a hall pass, You don't have a hall pass, nya nya nya nya nya." NOTOBJECT OBJECT POINTS ACTION KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Short Hall DESCRIPTION Just a plain old short hall. Nothing special here. Pretty much standard stuff. Oh yeah, there is that HUGE alien guard blocking the hallway. Other then that it's pretty much the same old thing. There are exits to the north and south. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC FILLED Engine Room DESCRIPTION You now stand in the Engine Room of the ship. The great engine of the ship hums away the hours, propeling the ship through the limitless void (poetic huh?). There are exits to the west and the south. There is also a glass cabinet here marked "LASER cabinet". It is quite loud in here. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND atmosphere2.iff SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Weapons Room DESCRIPTION WThis is where the Aliens keep thier nasty weapons that they like to use on people, oh it is great fun! Unfortunatly all of the weapons are currently issued to crew members, leaving behind nothing but empty silhouettes on the walls where each weapon would normally hang. There is also a cabinet here. The exits are to the south and to the east. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED Artifacts Room DESCRIPTION This is the Artifacts room. This is where the Sphinctoid Science officer stores all of the amazing cultural artifacts taken from various historical sites around the cosmos. The walls are lined with shelves which have objects stored on them. The only door is to the North. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED Hostage Area DESCRIPTION This is where the alien losers who picked you up keep people they feel are worth further study. It is a well furnished room with a large couch in the center. There is quite alot of writing on the walls. The only exit is a door to the east. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED Observation Deck DESCRIPTION AThis room is just a huge domed bubble. Being the most upper, forward room in the vessel, it is an excellent vantage point for viewing the vast, vastness of space. All around you the stars are bright and twinkling. Good place to make a wish, although I doubt very much if it would help you. The only exit is to the south. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK ACTION POINTS OBJECT NOTOBJECT NOPASS |It looks like there is the outline of a door here in the wall, but no matter what you do, you cannot get it to open for you. never SOUND KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Map Room DESCRIPTION UYou are in a large room that is empty except for a HUGE table in the center. The Table is labled "Ship Layout Map" and is a huge holographic layout of an enormous space ship. Gee, I wonder what ship it is the layout for? There are doors to the South, East, West and there looks like the outline of a door to the North, but you can't be sure. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Upper TurboLift DESCRIPTION You are in TurboLift #001. It's basically a dopey looking elevator done in a futuristic motif. It even has some lousy music playing softly in the background. You are at the highest stop of the TurboLift. There are 2 buttons here and the doors are open to the north. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Trophy Room DESCRIPTION This room is the Captain's private Trophy room, which Proudly displays all the trophies the Captain of the Great Sphinctoid Flagship has ever won. They are all proudly displayed in a huge glass case. The only door is to the North. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED Captain's Quarters DESCRIPTION These are the captain's quarters. It is a well lit room with a large bed against one wall. The bed isn't nearly as interesting as what's on it. The Captain is laying on the bed...I think he's drunk. The exits are to the south and the west. The whole room reeks of booze. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND burp.iff SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK ACTION POINTS OBJECT NOTOBJECT NOPASS Sorry earthling, you can't use the bathroom without a token. I bet you really gotta go too. don't ya. Hey, think about Niagra Falls. Ouch, I bet you gotta go worse now! You hold the token up to the scanner on the door, the door swings open on squeaky hinges. One of the aliens yells out, "And don't forget to Vaporize it!" SOUND KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Crew Bunks DESCRIPTION [This is where the crew of the ship lives. It also seems to be where they hang out since it looks like the entire crew is currently here! It seems the crew has a crap game going here. They are quite into their game and don't seem to care about you being loose. There are exits to the south and east. The door to the south has a small plaque on it. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK ACTION POINTS OBJECT NOTOBJECT NOPASS What did you do, lose your token? You better go find it before you leave or you won't be able to get in again. You don't want to have to hold it for the rest of the game, do you? TBoy! You certainly were in there long enough. Hows about giving someone else a turn? SOUND KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK The Bathroom DESCRIPTION The bathroom is nothing fancy. Just a toilet and a sink. They are certainly not as clean as they should be. Lets just say that I wouldn't use them. You on the other hand can't believe how sparkling clean everything ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL EVENT rSomeone starts to bang on the door. "Hey Buddy! Are you gonna take all day or what? Didja fall in or something?" SOUND ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC FILLED Escape Pod DESCRIPTION 'You are in the Escape pod of the Sphinctoid vessel! Could this be the way out? The room is a large Glass domed booth with a soft bench lining one wall. There is lever here which looks like it might be the escape pod control. There is a sign hanging over it. The only exit is a door to the south. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK ACTION POINTS OBJECT NOTOBJECT NOPASS YIt looks like a door might be in this wall, but it won't let you through, whatever it is. never SOUND KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK ACTION POINTS OBJECT NOTOBJECT NOPASS 0A locked door works MUCH MUCH better with a key! The door opens with a click. SOUND KEYED CLOSED BLOCK ACTION POINTS OBJECT NOTOBJECT NOPASS 3A locked door opens MUCH easier when you use a key. VThe key works in the door! Get ready, what lies behind this door will blow your mind! SOUND KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Main Hall DESCRIPTION You are in the Main hall of the lower level of the Sphinctoid vessel. There are doors in three directions, south, east and west. There also appears to be an outline of a door to the north, but you can't be certain. There is a sign on the north wall. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Lower TurboLift DESCRIPTION This is the TurboLift at it's lowest point. (Doesn't it look ashamed?) There are 2 buttons here (You guessed it- an UP and a DOWN, You're so clever.) The doors are open to the north. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE ALTPIC FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Transporter booth DESCRIPTION You are standing inside the Alien transporter. It is a large glass booth with wires running in different directions through the glass. It is probably quite a Hi-tech piece of equipment, but you get the impression that it was hastily slapped together. The only exit is to the north. There are three buttons here, a red one, a green one, and a blue one. They all have writing on them. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED Cargo Bay 2 DESCRIPTION You stand in Cargo Bay #2 which is a huge room, but is totally empty. You see, every Adventure game has that one stupid room that is absolutely empty and serves no purpose other than to make the game seem larger and more grander than it really is. All the better software companies do it, even some of the lousy ones. It is a good place to enjoy a brief pause. So enjoy! There are exits to the south and the west. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL EVENT IWhy are you hanging around in this room? I told you there's nothing here. SOUND There's still nothing here. SOUND STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED Cargo Bay 1 DESCRIPTION You are in Cargo Bay #1, a huge storage area. There are doors to the south and the east. The room is empty except for a large beat-up Ford pickup in the center of the room. Tears begin to well up in your eyes everytime they fall upon the old truck. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC STOPCOLOR STARTCOLOR CYCLE FILLED KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK KEYED CLOSED BLOCK Trash Area DESCRIPTION You are in a huge room filled with trash. Hey, do you remember in Star Wars when Luke and the gang went into the Trash area and got attacked by some weird slimy thing, and then the walls started to close in and R2D2 tried everything to get the walls to stop and they finally did and they were oK? Well that won't happen here because this game would never use something from a well known movie to add excitement. So it's just a room full of trash. The only exit is to the North. ALTDESCRIPTION SOUND SOUNDINTERVAL ALTPIC OBJECTS COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION UThe back door to Graceland. Your quest, which began a long time ago, is about to end. Back Door COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION wSomeone has hastily slapped together a makeshift sign and hung it over the control lever. There is some writing on it. Lever Sign COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION dThis is a long handled "pull" type lever. It is in the up position. There is a sign hanging over it. Control Lever COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION gThis is a large green button with the following written on it: To the Sphinctoid Flagship Escape Pod. Green Button COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION -This is a large blue button. Writen on it are the following words: To Earth. You also notice someone has hung a hand- written sign over the button. The sign reads: DANGER! Earth transportation has not yet been enabled. Pressing this button may cause injury and/or Death. Sphinctoid Engineers Blue Button COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION yThis is (drumroll please).... A RED BUTTON!!!! Written on the button are the following words: To the Observation deck. Red Button COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION Scrawled on the wall is the following: Dr. Forrester is a weenie! TV's Frank is a Loser! signed, Joel, Crow, Tom Servo, Mike (The author would like to apologise to anyone not understanding this reference. I just wanted to plug my FAVORITE tv show) Lotsa Writing! COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION The great heart of the mighty ship. The powerhouse of the whole extraterrestrial trekker. Ladies and gentlemen, behold the Engine! Sigh. Actually it's not very impressive. Foreign Crap. Engine COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Movable WEIGHT DESCRIPTION The captain of this vessel must be one heck of a bowler. Either that or he stole it on one of his visits to earth. Who knows? Who cares? I sure don't. Oh, by the way, there seems to be something hard rattling around inside. Bowling Trophy COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Movable WEIGHT DESCRIPTION ZJust a plain old key with a # 1 on it. Well, one thing for sure, it doesn't go to a Ford. #1 Key COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION &Inside the LASER cabinet is a bright red, exposed LASER beam. Anything you were to pass over this beam would probably be sliced open, provided it is programmed into this silly game to do so. Oh by the way, if you're interested, LASER stands for Light Amplification Slicer; Red. The E is silent. L-A-S-E-R Beam COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION This is a glass cabinet in the wall where objects are placed to be sliced by a powerful laser beam. It is big enough to hold something the size of a bread box, but no bigger. You look it over carefully but you can find no controls for turning it on and off. LASER cabinet COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION This is a brightly lit button on the station that is clearly marked LASER. A warning on the panel reads, "Please be sure all Lock-out tags are in place before turning on any LASER." LASER button COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION This is where the Maintenance and Operations officer sits, the true hard working Backbone of any successful fleet of cretinous losers. His area is quite a mess, most of the sophisticated controls only boggle your mind. Operations Sta. COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION uThis is the Security Officer's Station. There is no one here at the moment, but you get the impression that the Security Officer is someone who does not tolerate disorder. His station is kept spotless, with each of his things in perfect order. If he caught someone wandering about his ship without clearance, He would probably have him/her spitted and grilled on the spot. Security Sta. COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Movable WEIGHT DESCRIPTION Hey now, the Captain of this vessel must be someone with the same class and style as yourself. These fuzzy dice give any cockpit, whether terrestrial or extraterrestrial, a real sense of "Badness". The captain is probably the kind of guy who has a Playboy air freshener too. Fuzzy Dice COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Movable WEIGHT DESCRIPTION The hall Pass reads: Please allow the bearer of this note unlimited access to the main level of the great Shinctoid Empire Flagship. This does not include bathroom useage, you must have a bathroom token for bathroom rights. Any turbolift usage requires an additional pass. Hall Pass COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION Huge and Ugly, the guard stares at you with a critical eye. Over his Sphinctoid Empire Insignia there is a little sticker which reads.. Hello, My name is Hugeanduglyguard. Huge Guard! COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Movable WEIGHT DESCRIPTION It's your typical Alien jumpsuit. You know, silver, shiny and mettalic looking. It has the royal crest of the great Sphinctoid Empire over the right breast. (A likeness of Uranus with a big # 1 stitced across it). Is it your size? Who knows? Alien Uniform COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION (Lying on the floor with a shard of broken glass wedged in his skull, is an Alien Being. His face is featureless except for a large wrinkled hole in the center with one great brown eye over it. He must have been watching you through the mirror/window when you suddenly decided to go cot-happy. Dead Alien COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION ,Just some cheesy button with an arrow on it. "DOWN" Button COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION Great care has been put into the making of this button, it shines with the brilliance of a half dozen suns. The craftsmanship of it's contours are truly astounding and it's glossy surface has been buffed to a dazzling sheen. Oh, it also has an "UP" arrow on it. "UP" Button COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Movable WEIGHT DESCRIPTION FThe card reads, "Security Pass # 8675309, entitles bearer to unlimited use of Turbo Lift # 001 and Transporter # 001 aboard the Great Sphinctoid Empire Flagship." "Keep out of reach of Earthlings." The card is transparant with the emblem of the Great Sphinctoid Empire on it's glossy surface, pretty impressive eh? Security Pass COUNT HIDDEN WHERE MOBILITY Fixed WEIGHT DESCRIPTION Since this is a FORD county, it would be completely un-American to drive anything but a good ol' FORD. Your pickup is a '79 half ton FORD, complete with rifle rack and a "Desert Storm" bumpersticker. Across it's Bug-screen, written in electrical tape are the words "Captain Illiterate!". There is a Confederate flag hanging in the rear window and you kicked the muffler off years ago, makin' it sound real mean. Pickup Truck COUNT Mirror DESCRIPTION A big piece of shiny glass that makes everything look backwards...this Alien technology has you amazed already! You are not sure but you think you can hear voices coming from the other side. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT DESCRIPTION Looks like many an abducted loser has spent many a restless night on this old thing. It smells like stale sweat, but then again, so do you! I guess your captors want you to feel at home. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Busted Mirror DESCRIPTION The mirror no longer looks back at you, Now it is just a gaping hole in the wall. Good thing too because your reflection was starting to give you the creeps! WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Piece 'O Cot DESCRIPTION tA broken piece of cot. It's heavy and hard and in fact, quite aerodynamic looking. It looks as if it wants to fly. WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT UP Button DESCRIPTION DA little button with an UP arrow on it. Give it a push....I dare ya! WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT DOWN Button DESCRIPTION xA little button with a DOWN arrow on it. Do you want to go down? If you don't I'm afraid there isn't much here for you. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT UP- Button DESCRIPTION XA button with an UP arrow on it. Lets face it, these Aliens is some Clever Mama-Jama's. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT DOWN- Button DESCRIPTION dFor Gods sake, It's just a stupid button with a | on it! Get on with it!! | \|/ WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Big Sign DESCRIPTION XYeah, it IS a big sign. Would you like to read it? Huh? HUH? Go on give it a whirl. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Exam Table DESCRIPTION Made of some unknown metal (lets face it, anything other than Beer-Can Alluminum is an unknown metal to you), this large examination table is covered with the blood of many an unwary loser these Aliens have picked up. If you don't get off this ship soon, you will know what it feels like to lay on it. Not that I'm rushing you or anything, far from it. Take your time, get dissected, see if I care. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Broken Window DESCRIPTION #Si Senor, the window, she be broke. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT COMPUTER DESCRIPTION /On closer examination, you discover that the computer is not so great after all. It's just an old Radio Hut piece of junk with lots of fancy looking junk hooked up to it for show. Anyone with the slightest amount of knowledge of computers would mock it 'till it crashed. You on the other hand, are awed. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Newspaper DESCRIPTION This is an old copy of the newspaper- "The National Embarrasser". It's headline is the words.... "King of Pop to marry the girl whose Pop was King!" It is the complete story of how Lisa Marie Presley married Michael Jackson. Even Stephen King never wrote anything THIS frightening! WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Elvis! DESCRIPTION xThe king of Rock and Roll, lets face it, has looked better. His rhinestone jumpsuit has long lost it's luster, his sideburns are on the verge of taking over his face, and his belly looks as if a sea lion has made a dwelling under his shirt. He seems content though to just sit away his life on his sofa. It would probably take quite a traumatic experience to get him to budge. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Tiny Elvis! DESCRIPTION bA whole lotta legend in a little bitty package. He's just a petite thing but he's still the king! WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT DESCRIPTION kA smelly ragged beat up old sofa. Compared to the one in your trailer back home, it's quite a quality item. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Royal Key DESCRIPTION \A shiny gold key with a picture of the ROYAL insignia of the great Sphinctoid Empire on WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Some writing DESCRIPTION :Scrawled on the wall are the words: Jimmy Hoffa was here. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT More writing DESCRIPTION Scrawled on the wall are the words: Amielia Ehrhart was here. * *(Game creators note) Ok, I have no Idea how to spell the above mentioned name. If I spelled it right, great. If I didn't, you know who I'm talking about. Now get playing. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Shrink Ray DESCRIPTION 2This is the great Sphinctoid Empire's greatest achievement, The Shrink Ray! The directions on the side read: 1) Point at unsuspecting slob. 2) Pull trigger. 3) Pick up shrunken person and torment. 4) One (1) charge only. Confuse your enemies, impress your friends. Be the life and death of any party! WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Screen DESCRIPTION Space. The last shebang. This is the visual screen of the Flagship... ...Sphinctoid. It's ongoing mission; To explore weird and bizzare worlds. To seek out dumb hicks, who haven't a clue. To proudly go anyplace it wants to. Daaaaaa DAAAAAAAAAAA, Daaa DA DA DA Daaaaaaa! WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Science Sta. DESCRIPTION This is where the Science officer makes his precise calculations, studies unusual life forms and............nah, it's basically his job to just keep the coffee pot working. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Coffee Filter DESCRIPTION A basket drip-filter type coffee filter. Or possibly two. Sometimes they stick together. Have you ever tried to get two apart? I don't mind saying that its a pain in the.. .....Quit stalling you! Get playing! WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Captain's Chair DESCRIPTION This is where the Captain sits and stares out at the vast open space before him, barking out commands and generally alienating (No pun intended) everyone around him. It's a full time job. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Bathroom Token DESCRIPTION GIt says on the side of the token: This token limits bearer to 1 (one) use of the bathroom facilities aboard the great Sphinctoid Flagship. Since weight is an important factor in our Hyperspace computations, We must strictly control any deposits of high density organic matter aboard the ship. Monetary value- 1/20th of a cent. WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Crew (playing) DESCRIPTION There are about 25 crew members here, probably most of the ship. They are playing a pretty wild game of craps. You can't see what they are playing for, but they look like some strange tokens of some kind. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Plaque DESCRIPTION The plaque reads: Bathroom, use at own risk. 1 (one) token requred. Special this week! Get unlimited use with just one token! Deal ends saturday. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT #2 Key DESCRIPTION A key with a #2 stamped on it. WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Toilet DESCRIPTION A shiny metal toilet. If I have to go into some long winded description about what its for and its many uses, you probably should seek out professional help. The only strange thing is the flush handle, it is marked "Vaporize". WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT DESCRIPTION It's a sink. Big whoop. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Map Table DESCRIPTION This is a map of the entire ships layout; Upper: Observ. | Bunks --- map --- Capt. | | | Bath Turbo Trophy Middle: Bridge (F) | Bridge (R) | Weapons---Hall----Engine | | | Artifact Turbo Sh. Hall | Hostage---Exam---Computer | Prison Lower: Escape Pod | Cargo 1---Hall---Cargo 2 | | | Trash Turbo Transporter The map is lit up in green light under the glass top surface of the table. There is a big Red "BLIP" lit in the room marked "map". WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Shelves DESCRIPTION kBig shelves. Hey, why not search them? You never know, it just might pay off for you! I'm excited now, You? WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Tushmaster DESCRIPTION This is the Tushmaster. THE definitive Butt Builder. Many celebrities too numerous to mention have all endorsed this little beauty at one time or another. Guaranteed to build a firmer, tighter butt by the time you finish this stupid game. WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Hockey Stick DESCRIPTION This old hockey stick was once used by the great "Guy LaNunchuk", the greatest man to ever play the game (just WHAT game, we are not quite sure of). It is autograf...... ..autoegraph......autowgraef............. .....signed by Guy LaNunchuk himself. It is a quality item. WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Rawhide Chew DESCRIPTION sThis old rawhide chew looks like it's been chewed on by a Badger with a horrible overbite. It's pretty well gnawed. WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Justa Key DESCRIPTION Justa plain old key, my man. Nothing fancy about it. Pretty plain. As ordinary a key as you ever did see. Unimpressive. No distinct features on it. Bland, blah. As mundane as it gets. Pretty average. Oh yeah, it also says, "The Key To The Weapons Room!!" in big bold neon letters that seem to almost come to life when the light hits them at just the right angle. Other than that it's justa key. WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Stars DESCRIPTION KOutside the window are lots and lots of stars. (How else does one put it?) WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT South Door Sign DESCRIPTION aIt's a sign, and it's on the south door. Read it, it's pretty neat. (after all, I thought it up.) WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Trophy Case DESCRIPTION This huge case is filled with many trophies. Lets take a look at some of them, shall we; 1969 Jimi Hendrix look alike contest, 3rd place. Hog calling and calf tossing roundup, 7th place. Emmy award, Best silver suited Alien in a daytime drama. And many Many more. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Cabinet-Locked DESCRIPTION This is a large cabinet used for holding the most powerful weapon in the entire Sphinctoid arsenal. It has words of warning written all over it, such as; Keep out. Yes, you! Because I said so! Too bad. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Cabinet-Open DESCRIPTION YThe same cabinet as before, only it now stands open. Keys and locks kinda work that WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Pile 'O Garbage DESCRIPTION NThis pile of trash is huge! It looks like the aliens, having all this room seein as how they took everthing out of this room, didn't have to take out their garbage for a long time. (Did anyone playing this even begin to catch this reference? "You can get anything you want, from...") Anyway, it's one BIg pile 'O garbage! Stinks WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Captain DESCRIPTION The Captain looks just like any other alien you've met on this ship, although he is wearing a large bulky sweatshirt with the words "I'm the Captain!" written on it. He is absolutely plastered. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Main Hall Sign DESCRIPTION YThe sign reads; <---------------Cargo Bay 1 Cargo Bay 2----------------> WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Ford Pickup DESCRIPTION "Yes this is your old pickup that was in the field with you when the aliens beamed you aboard. It is still beat-up and rusted. It is still a piece of farmboy junk. It is still the most beautiful thing you have ever laid eyes on. The truck is family to you. But then again, you are an idiot. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Country Tape DESCRIPTION =This is the one and only tape you ever listen to in your pickup, "Bobbie Lynn Crawdad - - Daddy's beatin' Mama again" You like the way all the dogs in the neighborhood throw back their heads and howl when you listen to it. You never listen to it too loud though, Loud music is for them Long-Haired commie types. WEIGHT MOBILITY Movable WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Trophy on Case DESCRIPTION OYou really can't see the trophy very well because it is way on top of the case. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT Crew (gambling) DESCRIPTION The crew is still shooting craps. They look at you warily whenever you approach since you won once. They probably think you cheated. You shark you. WEIGHT MOBILITY Fixed WHERE HIDDEN COUNT EFFECTS TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT The screen reads; It probably could shrink Ray.....or Pete or Jim or Harvey or Dennis or Jose or......... ...heck, it could probably shrink ELVIS! WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT hThe screen says; Lets have a look-see at that key. Hmmmmmm, you see where the third tooth is worn just a little bit more than the rest? That means that this key goes to something on the Left side of the ship, probably in the weapons room somewhere. You see, the third tooth is in direct influence of the gravitational pull of....well..........it's complicated. WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT mThe screen reads; Is that Elvis in your pocket or are you just happy to see me. Ha, but I kid the Earthling. WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT The screen reads; Hey, The National Embarraser, my favorite rag! Looks like old Michaels got himself a bride. Boy, I'll bet if The Big E found out he'd give that little twerp a serious talking to! Ouch, I bet that would fun to see his reaction! WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT The screen reads; It's a hall pass. Sorry, did that seem curt to you? I'm awfully sorry. It's just that I'm a bit depressed today. Not that I want to burden YOU, the great Earthling, with MY petty problems. Oh heavens no! WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT The screen reads; Hey, groovy threads ya got there. I wouldn't take that off while on THIS ship. Unless of course you WANT to become Alien kibble! WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT The screen reads; Me? You want to know about me? Oh golly, where should I begin? well, I was born on an assembly line on Sphinctoid Prime during the administration of His Royal Majesty, Arvid Scratchypants. Being the adventurous sort, I quickly left the safety of my crate to seek out my............ (You soon tire of the story and wander over and stare at a piece of lint on the floor for a little while. After awhile you come back to the screen, which is still scrolling text.) .......but soon she left me for a MacIntosh with more megabytes and a hard drive. Well, let me tell YOU, I was devastated! And so, depressed, alone and vulnerable, I joined the Sphinctoid Service and well....here I am! Any other questions? WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT The screen reads; This is a security pass for access to many of the restricted areas of the ship. It's pretty stylish too. Don't go anywhere on this ship without it. WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT The computer screen reads; Hey, you broke the cot in the prison cell, didn't you? Well don't go tossing that thing around, ok? You could put an eye out! WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT +You say to the computer,"Uh, computer, excuse me but could you..." That's about as far as you get when suddenly the computer screen comes alive with text. It reads; Hey there Earthling! Hows tricks? Allow me to introduce myself, the name is P.H.I.L. Which stands for.........well it probably stands for something really neat! I'm here to help you with any little thing you need! Alls you gotta do is ASK me ABOUT any object you can drag into this room, and I'll do my absolute best to help you find the BEST way of using it! Sounds like a plan, don't it? WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT KYou ask the crew what you have won. One of them speaks up and says, "Well boy, I don't know about on Earth, but up here we call the game CRAPS for a reason! Here's your winnings....A bathroom token! You can't use the ships bathroom unless you have one!" The Alien hands you a strange looking token and you place it in your pocket. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND magic.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG You stand on your tippy tippy toes but you just can't seem to reach the trophy. I'm not saying that you are short, heavens no! But you just....can't......reach it. Maybe if you had something long to reach it with......... RIGHT You whip out your Hockey Stick and reach for the trophy. (He Shoots!) You slip the hockey stick through the trophys handle and gently lower the trophy to the floor. (He Scores!) DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND magic.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT never WRONG <You can't drop the security pass, you are going to need it. UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT X"C'mon man", says Elvis, "This aint no time to flap our jaws, we gotta get out of here!" WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT Don't stop to chit chat now, your almost at the end of the game! You had plenty of time to talk on the escape pod, and you never said a word. WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT never WRONG You start to set him down and he starts to panic. "Don't set me dowm out here", He cries,"the neighbors cat might git me! Now c'mon 'n open the door man!" UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND trringg!.iff APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT MYou fling open the back door and Elvis cries out, "Yippeeeeee, I'm Home!!!". He bounds from your pocket and runs into the house. A few moments later he returns, pokes his head out of the door and says, "Thank ya very much." He then runs back into the house, all the while yelling, "I'm home Darlin', I'm tiny as hell, but I'm home!" WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND atmosphere2.iff APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You set Tiny Elvis on your lap so the little tyke can see out the window. Grasping the lever firmly in your hand, you pull downward with all of your might. The Pod begins to shudder and shake and finally lets loose from its moorings with one mighty "Fooosh". The pod drifts in space for a short time and is eventually pulled in by Earth's gravity. Things get a bit hot during atmosphere re-entry, but you soon plummet out of the sky over what looks like Memphis. "HoooooDoggy", cries Elvis gleefully, "This here's my old stompin' grounds!" The pod makes a perfect splashdown into the huge swimming pool behind Elvis's home, Graceland. You and tiny Elvis crawl from the pod and make your way to the back door of Graceland. WRONG Hey, you can't leave yet! You haven't rescued Elvis! If you look closely, the name of the game is; " I rescued Elvis from Communist Alien Jerks." That is pretty much a dead giveaway as to what you must accomplish! UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT 3On the makeshift sign, someone has scrawled the following. "All crew: Any crew member caught attempting to escape in a time of crisis will be scheduled for a rectal examination. Escape pod use is restricted. Only the Captain may use the Escape pod." signed, Captain Klaatu WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You paw through the cab of your old truck and find your all time favorite country western tape. You are relieved, the little silver guys didn't steal your most prized posession in the whole world (next to your truck, of course). DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND magic.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT rThere's nothing a country boy likes better then sitting on his truck. You look at home on it. You are both filthy. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT :No way boy, remember what happened last time you did that! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The Captain snores a few times, rolls over and says to you, "C'mon Mom, just another half hour." He then begins to cry on your shoulder again. Aren't drunken idiots fun? DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT <You strike up a conversation with the very intoxicated Captain. He tells you of his fascination for great leaders from cultures of other planets. He kidnapped Elvis because there was never a more respected man in the history of Earth. He starts to cry, telling you over and over that you are a really good friend. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT Hey you can't sit around reading the newspaper! You keep wasting time like this and you'll never see the big budget ending I've got planned for this game! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You search the pile of garbage, I mean dig through it on your hands and knees and everything! The only interesting thing you find is an old soggy newspaper. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND magic.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You look inside the cabinet and notice a very strange looking pistol of some kind inside it. It's not a Kill-O-Zap, but its a pretty good weapon. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND magic.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG vYou try to open the cabinet but you fail... ..MISERABLY. The lock mocks you by refusing to budge even the tiniest bit. RIGHT You use the Royal key, presented to you by the king himself, Elvis. The door to the cabinet swings open. Lets see whats inside, shall we? DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND tick.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You hit the front of the trophy case with all your might (yawn, which isn't much), but the glass front just refuses to break. Ever heard of Transparent Alluminum? Looks like Mr. Scott passed on a secret to these aliens. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You can't get it open. THIS is the reason the Captain locked everything up! I'll bet other people have tried to steal his trophies DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT }As you look over the Trophy case, you notice on large trophy way atop the case, instead of being locked inside with the rest. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The sign reads; TurboLift (This is my kind of sign. No frills. No beating around the bush. Just straight forward, honest information.) DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT vYou make a wish on the stars. But they sense that you are a buffoon and they ignore you. Thier very silence mocks you. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG You ain't got it yet champ. RIGHT Your once flabby buttocks are now firmer, neater. You could probably crack walnuts between your butt cheeks if you wanted to... ,,,but I won't be giving you THAT option in THIS game. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT qNaaaaaaa, on second thought, don't bother searching the shelves any more. This whole thing is getting pretty old. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT Yes, YES, YESSS!!! Oooooh Baby! You search the shelves AGAIN and this time you find an old spit covered mutilated rawhide chew. This is the best yet! Dude, listen, you have to search again! This room is a treasure trove! Cmon, don't give up, search, search, SEARCH!! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND trringg!.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT Wow, you searched the shelves again and this time you discovered an old beat up hockey stick!!! This is a riot! Oh man, you've just GOT to search that shelf again! You probably can't top the hockey stick but we gotta try. Search away m'boy! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND trringg!.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You stand on your tiptoes and begin to search the shelves. You feel around and you find a bizzare piece of exercise equipment. Hey that really payed off for you! Go on, search those shelves again!!! This is exciting. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND trringg!.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT Get off the Table!!!!!! What the heck is the matter wuth you anyway. Geeez, you let a redneck on board a fancy Hi-tech ship and the first thing he does is climb on the furniture!! Will you please behave! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND sinewavepulse.iff APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT vYou disappear! POP! You Reappear! POP! You are in a different room....Ta Daaaaaaa! Aint technology just the grooviest? WRONG fAs you probably already know, you do not have the proper security clearance for using the transporter. UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND yell.snd APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You foolishly ignore the warning note and push the button. (Ok, you asked for it) As soon as the button settles into its little nitch with a "Click", Your whole body is consumed in a blazing ball of fire. The pain lasts only a second or two, about as long as the rest of your life. Now, I would just like to point out that I did my best to warn you. Do you think I hung that warning sign for my health? WRONG "I'm sorry", a soft female voice says from a speaker grille, "you do not have the proper security clearance to use transporter # 001." UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND sinewavepulse.iff APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You press the red button. The whole world begins to shimmer around you and you black out for a split second. When you wake up you are in a completely different room. Well not completely different. I mean, it's obvious you are still on board the ship. Just in a different room. Neat huh? WRONG A soft female voice speaks from a little metal grill: "Sorry, But you do not have the proper security clearance for transporter use." UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT Adventuring can be so dirty. You wash off one of the uncountable layers of filth from your hands. What the..........No towels! RATS! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT ?Uh, I hate to tell you this, but that's what the toilet is for. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT Do you have to go AGAIN? What did you do last night, eat a 55 gallon drum of refried beans or something! (Don't forget to Vaporize.) DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND bottieburp.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT There you sit all broken hearted.... well, you know the rest. As you are sitting there, doing what you do, you notice a key on the floor. It must have fallen out of someones pants pocket. When you are done you hit the Vaporize handle. Now THATS technology. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND bottieburp.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG OYou aren't even holding them, what are you gonna do, kick em across the floor? RIGHT You step up to the game with your fuzzy dice in hand. "Will these do?",you ask. "Hey", the alien replies,"we never thought of using those stupid things! Go ahead Pink Boy, give em a throw!" You shake the dice, spit on them, blow on them and spin around three times for luck. You let them fly and they come up 7. "You Win!!", the alien cries! The alien then turns to you and says, "I'll bet you're wondering what you won huh? Talk to me REAL NICE and maybe I'll tell you what you've won. C'mon, try me." DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You step up and ask the crew if you can join in on their little game. One of them looks up and says to you, "You want in on this action? If ya do, you're going to have to supply your own dice because the last earthling scum we let play stole our dice and it took us 6 centuries to get another pair. So we can't let you use ours." You then ask where the Captain of the ship can be found. The same Alien replies,"He's drunk again in his quarters, same as every night. Thats why we are shooting craps." DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT It's all icky. You'd better not. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT #No sitting on the job, get playing. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You plop your hefty carcass into the Captains chair. It is not comfortable. Upon further examination you find you are sitting on a pair of cheesy looking Fuzzy Dice that seem to have fallen off the rear view mirror and into the Captain's seat. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND magic.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT Upon closer examination of the Science officers station, you come across an amazing piece of alien technology, the Coffee Filter. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND magic.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT 'What are you, out of your mind!!?? NO!! WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND hummer.snd APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT 'You place the Bowling trophy in the LASER cabinet and the LASER slices it cleanly in half. (Boy, the Captain is gonna be STEAMED when he sees what you did) From out of the sliced trophy falls a key! You toss the halves of the trophy away since they are more worthless now than when you started. WRONG You search through your inventory for something to slice, but alas, you can't find anything that you really want to slice in half. How about your head? Then you could carry things around in it. UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND hummer.snd APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You push the LASER button, and although nothing happens in the room, you do hear a faint hummmmmmmm coming from somewhere else in the ship. WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You try with all your might (which aint much hombre), but that mean old Bowling trophy just......won't....open. Phooey! I bet your just dying to know whats in it too, aint ya! WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT Hey, look at that, You searched the station and you happened to notice a button marked LASER Control. Could this help you in your mission? You? Probably not! WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND magic.snd APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT YFurther examination of the Station reveals a security pass. Is you one lucky dog or what? WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG IYou can't use it if you aint holding it. what are ya simple or something? RIGHT You point the Ray at Elvis and pull the trigger. A blinding light and a deafening WHEEEEEEEEEE fill the room and Elvis suddenly begins to shrink! When all the cheesy special effects finally die down the Big "E" is gone and a little "e" is left sitting on the sofa. He is about an inch high. He looks up at you, smiles, and in a voice that would make Alvin and the chipmunks do a double take he says to you, "C'mon Boy, pocket me and lets get the livin heck outa here!" DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND saucer.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG Elvis looks at you and says, "Did you get what I told you to get? Then what the heck'r ya wastin' my time for Boy, go on and fetch it!" RIGHT Elvis looks at you and says, "Hey, ya got the shrink ray! Good goin' Boy. Now point that little beauty in my direction and lets get the heck outa here!" DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG You tell Elvis that you are going to get off this blasted ship and you are taking him with you. It's quite an impressive speech you give but Elvis turns to you and quietly says,"Sorry kid, No can do, the only way this here legend is a-going back to earth is to go to his little girl's wedding. Anything else can just a-go on without me. The little silver fellas treat me real nice. I'm as happy as legendary star can be!" RIGHT You show Elvis the newspaper you found in the trash. His eyes light up with a new found rage." What the......!",He yells," How can m'little girl do this to me? How can she run off and marry that wimpy, little, nose-jobed, skin-bleached, pixie-voiced, little flea without her daddy ta give her away? Why I'll mop up the floor with that there boy!" He holds out a key to you and says," Here Boy, the silver fellas have got something locked up that's just the thing to get me off this lousy ship. Go fetch it and GET ME OUTA HERE!!!!!" DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND magic.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND magic.snd APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT 2You strut up to the Guard proudly in your newly aquired uniform. The guard snaps to attention and salutes you. You ask if you can pass through this hall. He holds out a gaudy looking pass that was probably supposed to look impressive, but is actually quite stupid looking. Par for the course on this ship. WRONG You strut up to the guard and say hello. He looks at you menacingly and says in a voice colder than the heart of a Commodore Exec., "Hostage scum is not allowed beyond this point, get back to the Examination Room, you Terran loser. UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT never WRONG You can't take off the uniform! You look great!!! Awww C'mon, leave it on would ya? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with.. .......oh forget it, the uniform stays on. UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT YYou are talking to a dead alien, what type of stimulating conversation are you expecting? WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT Every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man. You look sharp dude! You are ugly enough in that suit to look like an alien yourself! WRONG QYou haven't even stripped it off the poor slob yet, how do you expect to wear it? UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You closely examine the dead space dude and it suddenly hits you that he is a really sharp dresser. His uniform is just "Faaaaabulaaaaaaaas!". WRONG never UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT Let's see now....Hmmmmmm, no keyboard. How the Heck are you going to use this thing? Well, haven't you ever watched STAR TREK? Talk to it boy, talk to it. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG Never RIGHT GThe sign reads, "Welcome captive, to the flagship of the great Sphinctoid Empire! We hope your abduction has in no way alarmed you. Please feel free to wander anywhere in THIS room to your feeble little mind's content. Have no worries, your disection will be quick and almost painless. Be Seeing You." DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG qYou can't use the TurboLift without your security pass, What did you do Lose it? Go find it young man, right now! RIGHT [(drumroll please) The TurboLift goes........................ .........UP! Ta DA!!!!!!! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND sinewavepulse2.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG NYou can't use the TurboLift without Security Clearance. nya nya, nya nya nya! RIGHT gYou are at the lowest floor of the Alien vessel, you dunderhead. Just where do you think you are going? DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND klaxon.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG DYou have no security clearance, the TurboLift will not work for you. RIGHT ~You push the down button. Any guesses as to what happens? Oh my goodness, the TurboLift went down. Aint this cooler than cool? DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND sinewavepulse2.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG mYou have no security clearance. Alas, the Turbolift will not operate. Cmon, you should Know better than that. RIGHT A soft female voice speaks to you from a small metal grill: "You are currently at the top floor. Pushing this button serves no purpose. You may however continue to push it, if it makes you happy." DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND klaxon.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND sinewavepulse2.iff APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You press the button. Suddenly the Turbo Lift drops like a rock for several seconds. pinning you against the ceiling. When it finally does come to a stop, You hit the floor like a sack of...well you know. WRONG A soft female voice speaks from a small metal grill- "I'm sorry, You do not have proper security clearance for Turbo Lift operation. Have a nice day!" UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND sinewavepulse2.iff APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You press the button. Lights flash. Buzzers buzz. The lift shoots upward at a speed that pins you to the floor in a confused heap. After several moments it's motions cease and you pick yourself up. Oh, you also wet yourself. WRONG A soft female voice speaks from a little metal grill- "Security Alert, You do not have the proper clearance to use Turbo Lift # 001. Please check your clearance codes and try again. Have a nice day!" UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG 5What are you going to smash it with, your good looks? RIGHT #You lean waaaaaaay back with the piece of cot and let it fly! It hits the mirror dead center and smashes it to the tiniest of tiny bits! Your very good at throwing things from chucking beer cans at rats in your house. You walk over and pick up your cot piece again, just in case you need it. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND bottlesmash.iff POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT You plop down frustrated on the nasty cot. OOPS, looks like you had one too many burgers in your life, the old cot buckles under your massive girth and collapses into a dirty heap on the floor (Now look what you did). DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND creak.snd POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORTROOM TRANSPORT RECURRING INROOM POINTS SOUND sinewavepulse.iff APPEARSROOM APPEARS DISAPPEARS RIGHT You get in your pickup and suddenly the whole sky is lit up and a deafening roar fills your ears. You look up through the windshield to see the strangest looking spaceship you've ever seen (trust me, it's beyond words) hovering over your truck. A bright beam of light from the craft hits your truck and suddenly you start...to.....feel.....dizzy... ...and...(you pass out). When you wake up you are no longer in your truck or your field. WRONG UNNEEDED NEEDED ACTION ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; Hey buddy, where'd you get the excellent fuzzy dice? Some people say they look like craps...I mean crap, but you and I both know that they are for winners. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; There are two cargo bays aboard this ship, # 1 and # 2. This key definitely goes to one of them! I'm positive! Well....maybe not positive, but real real......REAL sure! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; Hey, it's the Captain's prize possesion! If the Captain knew you had it, boy would he be......well I guess he would still be drunk. But my point is that you should not have it, after all that's where the Captain keeps the key to ....whoops, can't tell you too much! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; Hmmmm, you may have a real puzzler here for me with this one. It looks like a coffee filter but whose to say it isn't two filters. I mean, those things are really hard to get apart when they stick together. Ok, Ok, it's definitely.....uh....two! No, one! One! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; This token entitles you to one (count em) one trip to the Sphinctoid Empire Flagship bathroom. But I'll let you in on a little secret, don't ever drop it or give it up and you can use it over and over. It's a promotional thing. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; This is the key to one of the cargo bays on the ship. It's either to # 1 or # 2. Hmmmmmm, not sure which one though. I'm only a compatible, it's not like I know EVERYTHING. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; Let me tell you about the Tushmaster. It is not available in stores. It comes in 12 designer colors. It is endorsed by many celebrities too numerous to mention. It comes with an unconditional money-back guaranty. Oh yeah...almost forgot, it also tightens up your butt. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; This is a signed Guy LaNunchuk stick! This is a quality item! This stick has a good long reach, just the thing Guy LaNunchuk needed to get his trophy, the Stan Lee Cup. (Is that a hint or what?) DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT The screen reads; "Chewy-chewy, Chewy-chewy, Chewy-chewy, Chewy baby, always got a mouthful of such sweet things to saaaay." Ha, I always loved that song. Remember that one, farm boy? DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT 7The screen reads; As far as I can tell it's Justa key. DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG never RIGHT %The screen reads; What the...? A country/western tape! I hate country/western! ALOT! Hear me out on this farm boy. You take an excellent rock band, twang out the music a little, force the lead singer to never bathe again and possibly marry his sister, have him sing with an accent that says, "Hi, I got kicked out of the third grade when I was 22." Now plop a hat bigger than Raymond Burr on top of his pointy head, and get him to not move around too much, and you've got yourself a ...... ......HEY! That's a Bobbie Lynn Crawdad, I love her stuff! DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM ACTION NEEDED UNNEEDED WRONG Let me get this straight. You want to TAKE the pickup truck? Huh? You may be that strong in the odor department, but you ain't that strong in the muscle department! The truck stays where it is, farm boy. RIGHT never DISAPPEARS APPEARS APPEARSROOM SOUND POINTS INROOM RECURRING TRANSPORT TRANSPORTROOM